Resiliency For Tough Times

Resiliency is “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” It’s something we can all use more of, especially in these tough times. It’s good to be reminded, as Robert Schuller wrote as the title of one his books, “Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do.”

There are two movies I recommend you watch that provide inspirational lessons in resiliency. Both these movies are based on true stories.

The first is 127 Hours about Aron Ralston. You may not know his name but you certainly know the gist of his story.

Ralston was exploring the very narrow Bluejohn Canyon in Utah. In many places, he could only get through by walking sideways or crawling under and over boulders.

At one point, a boulder that was lodged between the canyon walls blocked his path. There wasn’t much room beneath the boulder, so Aron climbed over it. As he did so, the boulder slipped, trapping his right arm between the wall and the boulder. 5 days later, out of food and water, Aron cut off his right forearm to free himself.

How can someone be so cool, especially when one’s life is at stake? I lose my cool when I have to wait in line, when the Internet goes down or when I have to wait longer than I think I should for a table in a restaurant.

Certainly Aron experienced times of terror and despair, but he never let panic overwhelm him. In short, he demonstrated the toughness that is the hallmark of resiliency (if you’re interested in the true story, watch the Dateline television show that accompanies Aron back to the very canyon where he almost died:

The second movie I recommend is Apollo 13 with the famous line uttered by Jim Lovell (played by Tom Hanks), “Houston, we have a problem.”

In reality, however, that’s not what Lovell said. The actual flight transcripts indicate that he really said, “Houston, we had a problem.” It occurred to me that the difference between “have” and “had” is what resiliency is all about. It’s what got Ralston out of that canyon and the crew of Apollo 13 home alive. That one word represents a significant transformation in thinking.

We have a problem suggests being stuck in the past. We had a problem indicates that Lovell has already moved past the event and is concerning himself with the next problem that this past problem has presented him with. He is staying in the present moment, dealing as creatively as he can with life as it comes to him.

You see, by the time we recognize that we have a problem, the problem has already passed. We now have another problem which, when solved, will simply lead to another problem in a never ending series.

Both Aron Ralston and the crew of Apollo 13 didn’t have a problem. They had a problem. Now they’ve got another one. And once that one is solved, there will be another. Each solved problem is simply the doorway to another. That is the nature of life in these movies. That is the nature of life.

Resiliency is the willingness (and it requires will) to look for creative solutions to one’s predicament rather than bemoaning the predicament itself. Resiliency requires staying present to life as it presents itself and confronting the challenge in front of us, not being stuck with the problems behind us.

There’s another scene in Apollo 13 that captures this distinction.

Lovell’s fellow astronauts Fred Haise and Jack Swigert get into a shouting match, blaming one another for the situation they are in. Lovell (at least in the movie if not in reality) stops their argument by admonishing, “We’re not doing this, gentlemen. We’re not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, ’cause we’re just going to end up back here with the same problems!”

Being resilient requires transforming our thinking from “have a problem” to “had a problem.” It is the recognition that our lives are nothing but a series of “had” problems. Resiliency is dealing with these as they come and the recognition that “bouncing off the walls for ten minutes,” will merely leave us in the same place complaining about our fate. In fact, it’s the “bouncing off the walls” that makes it impossible to see creative solutions.    

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